Too tired to appreciate the differance
Okay here's what happened: Somehow I missed the fact that I booked my flight for 6:45 in the morning and so Wednesday, the day before the flight, I was like, "Crap how am I going to be packed in time" and oh did I mention I had three photoshoots on Wednesday planned: Magnolia Street, a tattoo parlor and and stripper pimp and his bitches so when I found out about 645 I was like crap man how is this gonna work?
So I started packing and then arranged a taxi to get me to Dallas at 4:45 in the morning, not my idea but the guy picks me up and then he picks up this mexi dude who smelled like fried chicken a pack of cigarettes and cotton and wouldn't talk which might have been an effect of the paranoid taxi driver who shone a spot light into the windows of about 15 million Mexican homes at 430 in the morning in the hopes of not getting jump and finding his fare Senor Fried Cigarette who again wasn't talking except to say that he was flying out on ATO which I thought was a college frat...
so we get to Northwestern Air's gate at 4:45 in the morning and that was lucky because their computers where down and the line was fucking-astro fucking-nomical and so I waited about 2 hours, got my hand written boarding pass, got through security after fighting the attendant to hand check my bag with about $200 worth of film in it and ran to the fucking gate, stopping briefly at some shit burger joint for an ass biscuit thing with sausage and then onto my plain to Hell and out light a light...
We get to Memphis, the home of the king of rock and roll and some disgusting red as a dogs dick hot dogs and I have an hour to kill. I get some more food, the red dog dick with relish and a double espresso and I saunter to my gate. I got the Apeture Diane Arbus monograph in Fort Worth and I sink into heaven reading and waiting and then my half hour wait gets stretched to one hour, I put the book away then it becomes a 1 1/2 hours then 2 hours then 3 hours and then we learning, while we will be going to Florida in 15 minutes, our luggage (and I mean everyone's luggage) will being staying for a later flight because the luggage compartments nets, the ones that keep the thousands of pounds of luggage from flying about the copmartment, are not working.
Now have you flown lately? People do this thing now where they try and hand carry their luggage on to the plane, passing off hockey bags as carry-ons. Well this one dude in a brown velour jogging suit with stripers, pot signs, glocks and dollar signs embossedinto it, very hip hop 1984, won't give up his bag which was the point of mentioning the hockey bag thing, you see if you had a jumbo carry-on it would normally just get stowed plane side if it was toooo big and it would be passed off to the gate guy and stowed on that new later flight, or just under the plane on a normal flight, and homeboy was not letting this happen, not letting go and he was definitely not gonna stop hollering at the attendant which I chalked up to angry ghetto rat but later on in the flight (Let me tell you a story: did you see True Romance with Christian Slater, the Tony Scott movie with the Quinten Tarantino script? the scene where Clarence goes to kill his wife's pimp and he's just staring at the dude and the dude says, there been titties in front of you for ten minutes and you ain't even looked once cuz you got something on you mind?) okay so we're on the plane and the pilot says on the intercom "We are really sorry this flight is so late and none of you will have clean clothes when you land so free liquor for everyone" which everyone happily accepted except for me, I don't drink, and hip hop dude in the brown pimp suit cuz he's got something on his mind, doesn't order one either and while it seems a little paranoid now, he did circumanavigate the airport security for the most part and he was met at the airport by some scary lookin dudes with dreads and maybe this is a little racist but I swear to god he was moving weight. I swear to God he was.
I haven't slept much. It seems a lttle shaky now. More when I recover.
So I started packing and then arranged a taxi to get me to Dallas at 4:45 in the morning, not my idea but the guy picks me up and then he picks up this mexi dude who smelled like fried chicken a pack of cigarettes and cotton and wouldn't talk which might have been an effect of the paranoid taxi driver who shone a spot light into the windows of about 15 million Mexican homes at 430 in the morning in the hopes of not getting jump and finding his fare Senor Fried Cigarette who again wasn't talking except to say that he was flying out on ATO which I thought was a college frat...
so we get to Northwestern Air's gate at 4:45 in the morning and that was lucky because their computers where down and the line was fucking-astro fucking-nomical and so I waited about 2 hours, got my hand written boarding pass, got through security after fighting the attendant to hand check my bag with about $200 worth of film in it and ran to the fucking gate, stopping briefly at some shit burger joint for an ass biscuit thing with sausage and then onto my plain to Hell and out light a light...
We get to Memphis, the home of the king of rock and roll and some disgusting red as a dogs dick hot dogs and I have an hour to kill. I get some more food, the red dog dick with relish and a double espresso and I saunter to my gate. I got the Apeture Diane Arbus monograph in Fort Worth and I sink into heaven reading and waiting and then my half hour wait gets stretched to one hour, I put the book away then it becomes a 1 1/2 hours then 2 hours then 3 hours and then we learning, while we will be going to Florida in 15 minutes, our luggage (and I mean everyone's luggage) will being staying for a later flight because the luggage compartments nets, the ones that keep the thousands of pounds of luggage from flying about the copmartment, are not working.
Now have you flown lately? People do this thing now where they try and hand carry their luggage on to the plane, passing off hockey bags as carry-ons. Well this one dude in a brown velour jogging suit with stripers, pot signs, glocks and dollar signs embossedinto it, very hip hop 1984, won't give up his bag which was the point of mentioning the hockey bag thing, you see if you had a jumbo carry-on it would normally just get stowed plane side if it was toooo big and it would be passed off to the gate guy and stowed on that new later flight, or just under the plane on a normal flight, and homeboy was not letting this happen, not letting go and he was definitely not gonna stop hollering at the attendant which I chalked up to angry ghetto rat but later on in the flight (Let me tell you a story: did you see True Romance with Christian Slater, the Tony Scott movie with the Quinten Tarantino script? the scene where Clarence goes to kill his wife's pimp and he's just staring at the dude and the dude says, there been titties in front of you for ten minutes and you ain't even looked once cuz you got something on you mind?) okay so we're on the plane and the pilot says on the intercom "We are really sorry this flight is so late and none of you will have clean clothes when you land so free liquor for everyone" which everyone happily accepted except for me, I don't drink, and hip hop dude in the brown pimp suit cuz he's got something on his mind, doesn't order one either and while it seems a little paranoid now, he did circumanavigate the airport security for the most part and he was met at the airport by some scary lookin dudes with dreads and maybe this is a little racist but I swear to god he was moving weight. I swear to God he was.
I haven't slept much. It seems a lttle shaky now. More when I recover.
posted by Mike at 9:30 AM
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